The dating scene is nothing to scoff at today – there are many things about it that are tough for anyone. Sometimes it feels like you have to be a rocket scientist in order to figure out whom you should give a chance to and who you should walk away from. There are many things that affect how the dating scene happens to work out for us – what age we are, how much money we make, or where we hang out can have a lot to do with who we meet and therefore who we date. However, one of the things that can make a big impact on the dating scene is whether or not the parties that are dating have the same basic set of Christian morals. Having, or not having, these beliefs is something that can drastically impact the kind of dates we have, and whether or not they are going to end up being successful.
Christian morals have ended up affecting the dating scene in recent times in a much different way than in the past. In the past, people got married younger and didn’t date as much as they do now – or they tended more and more to date people with the same religious feelings as themselves, which made them more compatible. In the past, there were less places to find people to date – schools were the best place to meet people, and a lot of the time you would end up getting married to someone you went to school with. However, now, with the Internet and with more chances to travel and meet more people, the dating scene has exploded for a lot of us. It is not likely you will end up staying with the same group of people for many years and end up marrying them.
So, because of these reasons, it is important that when two people date each other, their morals and beliefs come into play. Christian morals have a deep impact on the dating scene because if you are a Christian, you are not going to be distracted by some of the other reasons for which people choose their dates – such as the way that another person’s body looks or how likely they are to go “all the way” with you. Yes, as Christians, people are attracted to others, but when you add a set of strong morals and beliefs into the mix, Christians are likely to choose dates based upon what kind of beliefs the other person has. Often in the dating world, couples will not even talk about their person beliefs or morals until they have been dating for a long time. However, in the Christian dating scene, these conversations are started right from the get go. People will strong Christian morals and beliefs will tend to want to date others that feel the same way as they do, and usually this will be a big part of how they decide who they actually want to end up dating and who they’d rather simply not go out with.
By putting their morals first, this can lean many young Christians to date people who feel the same way that they do, and this means that their relationships are going to have a greater chance of going father than relationships couples have if they don’t share beliefs, or don’t bother to talk about their beliefs before they get involved. Sharing beliefs, and dating people with the same general beliefs, are both big parts of the Christian dating scene. It is usually the most important thing when a person chooses whether or not to date another person, and this carries forth into their lives and ends up becoming the corner stones upon which their relationships are actually built.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
CHRISTIAN DATING SITES: CREATING YOUR PROFILE
So you have finally decided on a Christian dating site that meets your needs. Congratulations, this is the first step towards meeting interesting people who share your values and your morals and your beliefs. Now you are ready to post your profile on the Christian dating site to hopefully begin meeting new people. There are a few things that you should keep in mind when you are posting your profile on a Christian dating site.
The first thing that you need is a catchy headline and a good photo of yourself. There are many ways to get these things, and they are things that you should think about because when a person is looking through the profiles this is what they are going to see first, and it is how they are going to judge whether or not they decide to look at the rest of your profile. The first think you need is a good headline. This should be a short statement that either says something about you, or says something that you believe strongly in. Avoid things that are cliche, because chances are good that lots of people are going to have these things in their headlines. Try to find something unique that really fits your style or your life, or that fits your faith. Try to have something that you think no one else will have, something that can tell someone a little bit about you right from the start.
The picture comes next. Remember that people are going to want to see a photo of you, so make it a good one. Try to get a shot that only has you in it, and a shot that is somewhat close up, because you don’t want people to skip you over because the picture is too small or taken from too great a distance. Try to get a picture that is flattering of you, and make sure it is one that you like. No one likes to go to a dating site and see a picture with a caption that says something about not liking the photo!
Next, you will have to have a short paragraph that talks about you and who you are. This is something that you should think about it. First of all, it is important to present yourself in a good light. Try to highlight first the things that you like about yourself, without sounding like you are bragging. Also, remember that you should keep in short and sweet, and avoid rambling on about things that don’t make any sense.
The next thing that you are going to need to do is to fill out the information on the rest of the profile. This is usually information regarding your interests, what kinds of books and movies that you like, and other things that are important. There are several ways that you can go about this. You can either list things, or you can write a small paragraph about them. Either way, you have to be sure that you are providing information that is important to you and that is going to make you look interesting to other people.
No matter what kind of information you put in your profile, you have to be sure that you are presenting yourself in a way that make sense to other people and that is also true to your moral believes and the way that you really feel. You shouldn’t present yourself in a way that isn’t true, or a way that doesn’t hold true with your moral beliefs and feelings. This is the most important thing about providing information on a Christian dating site – that you hold tight to your morals and beliefs.
The first thing that you need is a catchy headline and a good photo of yourself. There are many ways to get these things, and they are things that you should think about because when a person is looking through the profiles this is what they are going to see first, and it is how they are going to judge whether or not they decide to look at the rest of your profile. The first think you need is a good headline. This should be a short statement that either says something about you, or says something that you believe strongly in. Avoid things that are cliche, because chances are good that lots of people are going to have these things in their headlines. Try to find something unique that really fits your style or your life, or that fits your faith. Try to have something that you think no one else will have, something that can tell someone a little bit about you right from the start.
The picture comes next. Remember that people are going to want to see a photo of you, so make it a good one. Try to get a shot that only has you in it, and a shot that is somewhat close up, because you don’t want people to skip you over because the picture is too small or taken from too great a distance. Try to get a picture that is flattering of you, and make sure it is one that you like. No one likes to go to a dating site and see a picture with a caption that says something about not liking the photo!
Next, you will have to have a short paragraph that talks about you and who you are. This is something that you should think about it. First of all, it is important to present yourself in a good light. Try to highlight first the things that you like about yourself, without sounding like you are bragging. Also, remember that you should keep in short and sweet, and avoid rambling on about things that don’t make any sense.
The next thing that you are going to need to do is to fill out the information on the rest of the profile. This is usually information regarding your interests, what kinds of books and movies that you like, and other things that are important. There are several ways that you can go about this. You can either list things, or you can write a small paragraph about them. Either way, you have to be sure that you are providing information that is important to you and that is going to make you look interesting to other people.
No matter what kind of information you put in your profile, you have to be sure that you are presenting yourself in a way that make sense to other people and that is also true to your moral believes and the way that you really feel. You shouldn’t present yourself in a way that isn’t true, or a way that doesn’t hold true with your moral beliefs and feelings. This is the most important thing about providing information on a Christian dating site – that you hold tight to your morals and beliefs.
25 TIPS FOR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS
By Susan Quilliam
What's the key to successful relationships? Here, Susan Quilliam reveals the simple things you need to know to deepen your partnership and make your relationship work
1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.
2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.
4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.
6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.
7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.
8. Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curling annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.
9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.
1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.
2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.
4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
5. Make him appreciate you. Don't wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.
6. Teach him, preferably early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm because it's unlikely he'll find out alone. If you don't yet know yourself, find out.
7. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.
8. Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curling annoying habits. Learn to love him, warts and all.
9. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions. Express your problem and then ask him to help you find the answer.
10. Learn that punishing your partner won't work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more. A better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.
11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget. You could also read Stop Fighting About Money by Corinne Sweet (Hodder & Stoughton,£6.99)
12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilize the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget. You could also read Stop Fighting About Money by Corinne Sweet (Hodder & Stoughton,£6.99)
12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilize the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
18. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you. For extra help, read my book, Stop Arguing Start Talking (Vermilion, £6.99).
19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.
20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher (Arrow, £8.99).
21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.
22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.
23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.
24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.
25. Don't think that going to counseling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one. Contact Relate on +2347060674860 for more information.
19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.
20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher (Arrow, £8.99).
21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.
22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.
23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.
24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.
25. Don't think that going to counseling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one. Contact Relate on +2347060674860 for more information.
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